‘The Dating Game’ examines the struggles of love and romance

If you’re looking for a career as a dating coach, you might find some luck in Chongqing, China.

“The Dating Game” follows three men, Li, Wu and Zhao, who try to improve their luck at finding love by attending a weeklong dating camp in Chongqing taught by dating coach Hao. The documentary was directed by Violet Du Feng and screened at the 2025 True/False Film Fest. 

The one-child policy, which lasted from 1979-2015, was initially implemented to tackle the overpopulation problem in China. However, the cultural favoring of sons led to sex-selective abortions or abandonment of baby girls.  

There are over 30 million more men than women in China, as of 2024. This leaves the male subjects of the film struggling to navigate a dating terrain where being themselves doesn’t seem to be enough.

Hao’s first step is to hone in on reinventing his clients’ appearances. They shop for new clothes, try different haircuts and take posed photos at intentionally picked locations — simply “performance art,” as Hao explains to an unconvinced Li, Wu and Zhao. 

In China’s modern technological landscape, the use of casual photoshop is commonplace for men and women alike. With the growing popularity of finding connections via the social media platform WeChat and dating apps, perfecting an online presence seems more important than ever. 

Armed with their new looks and upgraded photo galleries, the men practice approaching women on the street under Hao’s upbeat guidance. Their scripted pickup lines are received with disdain, yet they persist with their cringeworthy efforts under Hao’s urging.

As they progress through their coaching sessions, the three men express their insecurities about their personalities, age and unsuccessful love lives. The guidance Hao offers includes demeaning “tests” that “evoke [a woman’s] emotions”, like sudden ghosting and compliments followed up with insults. He proclaims he used these strategies himself to successfully attract his wife.

However, although well-intentioned, Hao’s approach appears to vastly miss the mark. 

As Li, Wu and Zhao experience a multitude of comical failures and Hao encounters conflicts within his own marriage, it becomes clear to the audience that their ideas of romance may not be what these women are looking for. The women featured throughout the film, including Hao’s wife (a dating coach herself), express their desire for a partner to be understanding of their needs and emotionally available — qualities that Hao’s dating advice doesn’t exactly emphasize. 

“I was actually really drawn to Hao in a particular way,” director Violet Du Feng shared in a Q&A on Saturday. “I think it’s because of the controversy that I see from him…but there’s also a part of me that is really leaning into ‘why.’ What are the political, economic, cultural [and] technological impacts on this whole generation that made them this way?” 

The documentary offers a glimpse into these impacts. Feng captures how the one-child policy changed family dynamics and, in many aspects, emotionally disconnected men from women. All the while, the generation navigates how to date in a digital landscape and maintain financial stability. Hao’s self-affirmed relationship tactics reflect many of the flawed perceptions he and other men have developed regarding women.

“Part of me is trying to judge these techniques … [but] I try to draw myself to look at all these larger issues of society,” Feng said. “I wrestle, as a filmmaker, [with] whether I like it or hate it. But I also think that, to some degree, we’re all wrestling and struggling between the cost of being fake and the price we all pay for being truthful, real and authentic.”

Through the perspectives of these four men and the women in their lives, “The Dating Game” candidly reflects on the value of genuine emotional connections and the losses that come with trying to be someone you’re not. Within the film’s humorous exchanges and vulnerably honest moments may lie the answers for finding true love.

You can keep up with The Maneater’s 2025 True/False Film Fest coverage here.

Edited by Mikalah Owens | mowens@themaneater.com

Copyedited by Emma Short | eshort@themaneater.com

Edited by Annie Goodykoontz | agoodykoontz@themaneater.com