Dating in Maricopa is impossible, single ladies say. Here’s why

State Route 347 rules the lives of many Maricopans.  

We’ve all heard the seemingly endless complaints: being late for work or school, worrying about the car overheating while stuck in traffic and the endless hours wasted begging bureaucrats to do anything about it.  

But who would have ever thought a state highway would interfere with someone’s dating life — or destroy it altogether? 

“You know, I often tell people who are even remotely interested in dating me that I am geographically undesirable,” said 58-year-old Susan, a single woman living in Glennwilde. “And after thinking about it, about 75% of them are like, ‘Yeah, you’re right. Good luck.’” 

Geographically undesirable. 

This whole thing sounds very “long-distance relationship” when at issue are merely 15 or so miles between Maricopa and Chandler or Phoenix. 

But, unless you meet your boo in Maricopa, long-distance is about the best you can ask for, said Creola Brown, 56, a Glennwilde resident who works from home. 

“I don’t want to leave Maricopa during the week,” she said, citing traffic, “and nobody wants to come into Maricopa if we meet on Facebook dating. Or they’ll be like, ‘Maricopa? Where the hell is that?’” 

Ouch.  

In an unscientific InMaricopa.com poll last month, about 1 in 4 Maricopans were single. More than 95% of the 331 single Maricopans polled said they were having no success dating.  

Just come over, baby 

If there’s one word Nikita Prasad would use to describe trying to date in Maricopa, it’s this: “Exhausting.” 

“It’s exhausting to date here because there’s nothing to do to meet people,” she said. “There’s not that nightlife aspect to work with.” 

The 22-year-old Senita resident said after returning recently to Maricopa from college life in California, she has struggled to meet other young adults in town.  

“If you want anything that would encourage a good date, the closest thing is in Chandler,” she said. 

The number of bars to meet someone in Maricopa? Four, and they’re all restaurants, primarily.  

Spots for an activity-based date? None of the four singles we interviewed could conjure any. 

How about the number of restaurants for a nice first or second date? Maybe five, if you’re liberal with your use of the signifier, “nice.” 

And nightlife? Forget about it. 

After spending all week driving up and down SR 347, Prasad said the last thing she wants to leave town for is a date that, statistically, probably won’t go anywhere. So, she doesn’t. 

“Why spend money on gas and a fancier date, when you could probably go to Slim Chickens or something?” she pondered. “People will automatically default to, ‘There’s nothing to do here, why don’t you just come over?’ As if that would make for a better first date.” 

‘You’re dating the town’ 

At 56, Glennwilde work-from-homer Brown said she hasn’t given up just yet on finding Mr. Right.  

“I don’t want to be hasty on anything. I prayed and told God I don’t want a relationship so bad that I’ll jump into this [dating] pool with no floaties,” she said. “This pool may be no good and I don’t want that anymore.” 

The problem is the dating pool here is tiny, she said, despite eye-popping population growth. U.S. Census Bureau data bears this out, showing more than two-thirds of new arrivals in the city are married adults. 

“Most of the people here are families,” Brown said. “They’re empty nesters, retirees and couples. You just don’t have the dating pool here.” 

Prasad agreed. 

“If something doesn’t work out, it is still a pretty small town — you’re going to see people you have a history with,” she said. “You’re going to see the person you went out with or hooked up with if you go to the grocery store or work locally.” 

It’s a sentiment Maricopa-based relationship and behavior coach Christian Huskins said she often hears from her clients.  

“It still feels like a small town, so everybody knows everybody,” she said. “When you’re dating someone in Maricopa, you’re dating the town. Truthfully, that’s how a lot of my clients feel, so people are searching outside of Maricopa because if things end, they’re still here. They’re still around.” 

Healing before catching feelings 

Some 95% of Huskins’ clients live or work in Maricopa, so she’s heard it all. The long commute, the lack of activities, the pint-sized dating pool. 

“The dating world out here in Maricopa is rough,” Huskins conceded. “There are women here in Maricopa who say there’s not a lot of healed men, but there’s also not a lot of healed women either. Perception is projection.” 

That emphasis on healing from past dating experiences is a serious factor she believes most people — in Maricopa or elsewhere — don’t consider when they recount nightmarish dating experiences.  

Huskins has long helped her clients overcome codependency, people-pleasing and an inability to set boundaries.  

“Everyone wants to date, and they want a good relationship,” Huskins said. “But the first relationship people need to focus on is with themselves. I try to help them understand things won’t get better if they go from toxic relationship to toxic relationship.” 

Instead, her approach is to help clients regulate emotions, heal from past relationships and to learn how to prioritize their needs. The latter, Huskins said, is especially important because her clients tend to believe putting themselves first in a relationship is selfish.  

“It’s the most selfless thing we can do because contrary to belief, you are attracted to people who are like your primary caregiver,” she said. “We were taught at a very young age what love looks like, so it’s important to heal the parts that attract the toxic behaviors so we can learn to attract healthy ones.” 

And that’s something some Maricopa singles seem to be doing — attempting to heal themselves before falling headfirst into a relationship.  

Susan said although the time since her 2023 divorce had been rough on her financially, psychologically, socially and romantically, she hasn’t given up on dating yet.  

“It’s hard to trust now, but I’ve done a lot of the hard work and I’m continuing to work on myself. It’s not fair to dump that on someone else,” she said. 

Brown added in addition to healing, she has the most priceless thing in her life currently: peace. 

“I’m lonely, but I got peace,” Brown said. “I hope I find someone here, but I got peace — and that’s priceless.” 

5 dating tips from Maricopa relationship coach Christian Huskins 

As a relationship coach and therapist, Glennwilde resident Christian Huskins works with men and women to help them find their perfect romantic relationship. While that can seem as easy as downloading an app, Huskins advises people to… 

1. Date with self-awareness, not just hope. Before seeking a partner, understand your own needs, boundaries and relationship partners. Set intention to what you want, not what you don’t want.  
2. Regulate your emotions before dating. Dating can be an emotional rollercoaster. If you’re easily triggered by rejection, ghosting or inconsistency, work on emotional regulation before diving back in. 
3. Know your non-negotiables. Before you start dating, get clear on your core values and dealbreakers. This will help you avoid wasting time on connections that aren’t aligned with your future. 
4. Take your time. You don’t have to rush into something serious. Remember that real connections take time to develop, and you deserve to move at a pace that feels right for you.  
5. Stay true to yourself. Never shrink yourself to fit into someone else’s expectations. The right person will appreciate and celebrate the real you.