These 5 common dating trends could be the reason you're still single - Live Healthy and Retire Wealthy helps people do just that

Female hands holding red mobile phone with many social media likes on pink background — Social media dating rules could be ruining your chances of finding love (Picture: Getty Images)

Social media is full of ‘advice’ for single people: dating dos and don’ts, and a never-ending discourse on how to land your soulmate.

From red flags and beige flags to relationship ultimatums, it can be difficult to separate the genuinely useful information, from the nonsense that could ruin your love life.

‘Many trends teach people to test, analyse and categorise potential partners rather than engage with them authentically,’ psychologist, sex and relationships advisor, Barbara Santini, tells Metro.

So, with that in mind, we’ve rounded-up five of the most common social media dating trends, to work out how if they’ll really help you find love.

Ick lists

Your once gorgeous crush suddenly becomes stomach churningly cringe due to the smallest of reasons (running after the bus, using an umbrella) and suddenly, you have the ick.

We love sharing our icks, and extensive lists with literally hundreds of turn-offs have been circulated on TikTok — but Barbara reckons they’re not as funny as you think.

‘Keeping an exhaustive list of minor turn-offs is a recipe for self-sabotage,’ she says.

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‘While preferences are natural, an ‘ick list’ turns dating into a relentless search for flaws.’

Rather than fostering a connection, Barbara adds that these lists create a ‘hypercritical mindset that dismisses potential partners over trivialities.’

Dating tests

Dating tests involve setting up real-life situations and filming partners’ reactions to see if they ‘pass’.

The ‘orange peel theory’ encouraged TikTok users to ask their partners to bring them an orange, and observe whether they’ll take the extra step to peel it for them.

Similarly ‘the ketchup theory’, involves making a deliberate mess on a kitchen surface to see if the partner being tested will automatically clean it up.

However, even if your partner ‘passes the test’, it might not indicate a perfect relationship.

Barbara says these tests can ‘weaponise normal human behaviour, turning harmless moments into pass/fail scenarios.’

She adds: ‘They cultivate distrust and a false sense of control, where partners are unknowingly judged.

‘In my view, healthy relationships are built on communication, not hidden assessments.’

So next time, just talk to your partner, and peel the orange yourself.

Boyfriend/girlfriend applications

Seemingly fed up of dating apps, some singletons have resorted to posting full-blown boyfriend or girlfriend applications online in search for the perfect candidate.

While it might seem a fun way to ensure your criteria is being matched, Barbara says it’s not a good idea.

‘Forcing someone to “apply” to date you creates a power imbalance and reinforces a checklist mentality,’ she says.

It’s also important to note that you may not realise just how many great potential matches are out there for you, if you’re set on a specific type of person.

As Barbara adds: ‘Love goes beyond ticking boxes.’

Rules for dating me

‘No friends of the opposite sex’, ‘monthly date nights’, ‘surprise me without asking’.

These are just some expectations people have shared on TikTok as their rules for dating them.

Barbara says that while setting boundaries is ‘crucial’ in relationships, these ‘rigid rules reframe dating as a list of demands rather than a mutual effort’.

‘I believe relationships require negotiation, adaptability and understanding,’ adds Barbara.

‘Overly strict rules often mask unresolved insecurities and drive away potential partners who seek balance, not a contractual agreement’.

Dating Up

The idea of dating someone richer, better looking or with higher status isn’t new – but Gen Z has given it a new twist on TikTok by dubbing the concept ‘dating up’.

Initially, the trend was a positive way to celebrate setting your standards high. However, it’s also given rise to the problematic idea of ‘dating down’.

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Barbara argues that the obsession with ‘dating up’ could foster entitlement, unrealistic expectations and transactional relationships.

She explains: ‘Prioritising wealth, status, and attractiveness over genuine connection reduces dating to a competition rather than a shared journey.

‘It creates an imbalanced power dynamic where one partner feels superior and the other struggles to prove their worth.

‘This is when we see love becoming conditional, making real intimacy nearly impossible.’

Are online dating trends damaging?

According to psychologist and sex therapist Tatyana Dyachenko, many online dating trends ‘emphasise performance or perfectionism, discouraging vulnerability and authenticity’.

She adds: ‘Some trends do inspire reflection, but I currently see many leaning toward making dating a spectacle. They can create unrealistic standards, where individuals focus on appearances or societal approval rather than fostering genuine intimacy.’

Today’s trends, Tatyana explains, are often rooted in social media validation. They demand ‘constant self-curation, which can feel exhausting and rigid’.

As a result, many have chosen to ‘opt out’ of dating culture. ‘I’ve seen many people feeling overwhelmed by these trends, which make dating seem like a chore rather than a rewarding journey’, Tatyana says.

‘I strongly believe this could explain the evident rise in reluctance toward dating altogether.’

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