Are Dating Apps Detrimental Or Can You Find Your Soulmate There? Let’s Find Out

Questions like “Do you live alone?”, “Send me something?” that I usually received in every conversation wasn’t even the worst part. Talking to a guy for a month before finding out he already had two other long-distance relationships sure topped the list of my bad experiences on dating apps.

And, as I spoke with others, I understood that I am not alone. Recounting her experience, Parul Yadav, a medical trainee, said, “It took me a year to realise that dating apps are not meant for the old-school romantic like me. It’s a platform where the majority of people either aren’t looking for anything serious. (They are) just having fun in the name of commitment. My experience there literally made me swear off love.”

I mentioned a term above, “dating fatigue.” Let me explain here.

From keeping up with boring conversations to maintaining the active mode so they wouldn’t move on to finding someone else, dating grind can be exhausting. Even after putting in sincere efforts, the series of bad dates breeds the idea of renouncing falling in love. Simply put, dating fatigue is an emotional state where you feel disillusioned, unmotivated, and completely over the whole “searching for the one” journey.

How Do Dating Apps Make It Harder To Find Your Soulmate?

Although a lot of people have been lucky to find ‘the one’ from dating apps, several studies paint a different picture. According to Psychology Today, researches suggest that having more choices makes us less likely to want to commit to one person. The perception that there are other “high-quality” partners available is also linked to the likelihood of dissatisfaction in a current relationship.

Attesting to this, Dr Ashish Bansal MD, Consultant Psychiatrist and Co-founder of House of Aesthetics, New Delhi, said, “Dating apps have become quite convenient for individuals these days as all you have to do is just a swipe and a connection starts to build. But they have made it harder to develop meaningful relationships. Genuine connections get masked as barriers get built.”

Elucidating further, he added, “These apps play with the human mind by making them believe that they have countless options for selecting their potential partner. This is actually not good for the human mind as it disables the actual real connections. No matter whoever you select, the mind stays in the illusion that you can still consider another. There is a constant feeling that they can even find someone better. This creates a gap between the real world and reel world.”

Poor Criteria For Partner Selection

While physical attraction does play a role in the dating process, apps reduce it to only profile pictures. As a result, the selection process becomes superficial, prioritising looks over deeper emotional qualities, leading to hasty and shallow choices. As a result, potential partners often get dismissed with a swipe if their profile doesn’t grab attention at first glance.

After all, attraction isn’t just about shared interests or a nice profile picture—it’s about body language, tone of voice, energy, and chemistry. These elements are hard to gauge through texts and photos.

Compatibility Becomes Algorithm-Based

As for how dating apps operate, they do by analysing users’ interests, preferences, and personality traits via algorithms, However, these tools fall short in capturing the intangible aspects of human connection – genuine chemistry and emotions. Interestingly, someone you might overlook on an app could become incredibly appealing in person, highlighting the limitations of digital matchmaking.

“For developing a bond on a dating app, minimum effort and time is invested and selection of a partner is very casual. Moving on is also very quick in such an app,” points out Dr Bansal.

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Red And Green Flags Of Dating Profiles

While using dating apps has become a convenient way to quickly meet people, it can be tricky to tell what you are getting yourself into on the basis of someone’s profile. If you’re new to online dating or trying out your luck again, here are the common red and green flags you should be aware of:

Red Flags Of Dating Profiles

Conversations Quickly Become Sexual

Any mention of sex, even as a joke is a big red flag for me. Guys who divert every normal conversation to kinky stuff even if it makes you uncomfortable are the ones you should stay away from.

Delayed Responses

If he/she takes long (which feels like a decade) to respond to your message, chances are they are really not into it or handling multiple conversations at once.

Those Not Looking For Anything Serious

If someone makes it clear in the beginning that they aren’t looking for anything serious, I believe it’s your sign to move on and not expect them to change their mind later on because that isn’t going to happen.

Green Flags Of Dating Profiles

Deep Meaningful Conversations

A guy putting real effort into getting to know me, my interests, and my dislikes is the top-tier green flag for me. While casual, small talk is everywhere, deep meaningful conversations are rare!

Mutually Beneficial Interaction

People who list what they bring to the table instead of telling what you have to be is the standard you should vouch for.

They’re Positive

People who quickly get into the negative like “No cheaters”, or “Not looking for any drama” are the most dramatic ones you should stay away from. The ones who have a positive outlook towards life and start the conversation with the hope of building a genuine connection are people you should look for on dating apps.

In my view, though the concept of dating apps may sound quite convenient, they do not serve the complete purpose behind their development. If they are not for you, don’t worry. It isn’t the end of the world. If in-person connections are what you crave for, it’s a good idea to attend events like meet-ups where you can socialise with others and see if the vibes match to create something beautiful together.

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