‘Floodlighting’ Is Gen Z’s Latest Dating Trend

When it comes to dating, Gen Z have a lot going on. They’re contra-dating one minute, then Tarzaning the next, all while trying to navigate the murky waters of situationships. And now, a new Gen Z dating trend has entered the chat—and she’s toxic. Introducing: floodlighting.

Coined by psychologist Brené Brown, the term ‘floodlighting’ refers to people sharing deeply personal information too soon in a relationship, often in an attempt to speed up intimacy. (Think of it as putting your relationship under a harsh spotlight—even when the relationship isn’t ready for all that attention.)

Remember when your date told you all about the painful memory of his parents’ divorce and how he’s been in therapy for years because of it—all before the appetizers had even arrived? Yeah, that’s floodlighting. Or what about that time you sat down for a blind date and opened up with, “So how many kids do you want?” before launching into your list of preferred names. Oops, floodlighting strikes again.

While sharing personal and emotional details about yourself may seem like you’re just being open and vulnerable with someone, it’s pretty overwhelming and can actually push people away, say experts. “It involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once—to test the waters, speed up intimacy or see if the other person can ‘handle’ these parts of you,” Jessica Alderson, the co-founder of the dating app So Syncd, told Glamour magazine.